Monday, June 15, 2015

Thank You Caitlyn, Miley, NAACP Woman, Trans-abled Man, and Dog Boy!

I just wanted to express my utmost gratitude to all the people out there working so hard to make it into the news lately; people who have so bravely chosen to embody, or rather disembody, what it means to be a relativist. By relativist I do not mean one who simply claims to regard all truths as equally valid, but rather one who goes that extra mile and actually lives what they profess. In the past, we had to make due with those who merely proposed this lifestyle, but now we have a whole slew of individuals taking it to the next level. Before we could only speculate what the world might look like if we completely ignored our six senses, now we have the raw data to prove it.

The guy who wants to be/look like Kim Kardashian

As the Goo Goo Dolls once so eloquently put it; "What you feel is what you are." Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn Jenner. Miley Cyrus no longer identifies as a girl or a boy… but prefers instead to identify as "nothing". And then there's NAACP woman, who apparently is so relativistic that she has the power to change her immediate ancestry by virtue of emotional fiat. According to "trans-abled man", he is a crippled man trapped inside an "abled" man's body (quite poetic isn't it). And let's not forget about Dog Boy, who believes himself to be- at least in part- "a dog".

Guy who identifies as a platypus… an extremely artsy one 

If relativism is right, and objective truth belongs to the past, then all of these individuals (and many more) are living proof that we can make this new way work. Indeed, in such a world there will be no need for LSD, for we will all feel like we are tripping 24/7. And what's more, everyone without exception will be forced will be invited to share in it. Scientist and skeptics used to tell us that "seeing means believing", the new gnostic "scientist" will practically tell us the reverse. Sure, this may mean that science and logic become obsolete as well, but who cares as long as we get our way?

Take the blue pill, man, and don't look back! What are you waiting for? Relativism is real, folks, and now we have these brave souls to thank for turning our dreams into a reality, or rather making our reality a little more dream-like.

What or whom or which will you be? They? It? Up? Down? Where? Centaur? Alien? Some heretofore unheard of Man Bear Pig? It's up to you, get your hormones and your chemicals ready! You're only limitation is your imagination, and a few pesky appendages, which if need be can easily be dispensed with. Hail to the death of science, logic, religion and morality. Bid adieu to all that has gone before, and embrace a new horizon of truth; the universal unveiling of man's unfettered Id, the shocking fulfillment of G.K Chesterton's 1905 (and perhaps the Killers' as well) prophecy;

"The great march of mental destruction will go on. Everything will be denied. Everything will become a creed. It is a reasonable position to deny the stones in the street; it will be a religious dogma to assert them. It is a rational thesis that we are all in a dream; it will be a mystical sanity to say that we are all awake. Fires will be kindled to testify that two and two make four. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer. We shall be left defending, not only the incredible virtues and sanities of human life, but something more incredible still, this huge impossible universe which stares us in the face. We shall fight for visible prodigies as if they were invisible. We shall look on the impossible grass and the skies with a strange courage. We shall be of those who have seen and yet have believed.”



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